Thursday, 17 May 2012

Minding my own business

Sometimes my seamless concern for others disgusts me.

I think it's a girl phenomenon. Else it's just completely my problem.


Unavailing, otious concern. I'm talking about pointlessly analysing somebody else's life. Sometimes it could also be that silly curiosity that plants itself in my idle brain.

There's a reason why they say an idle mind is a devil's worshop. In this case the devil assumes the form of senseless scrutiny.

Why is she dating that dumb dude?
What did he see in her?
Wait, what did she see in him?


What will happen if he gets into that college known for its snotty crowd?

If I ignore her calls just once, will she get mad at me?

Why is he messing with his life?
He shouldn't smoke.
She shouldn't smoke.


Why couldn't she opt for the career of her choice?
Why can't she make her own decisions?

Why, why did she fall into bad company? I didn't expect that.

Why can't he cut his shaggy mane?

Why did he go bald for chrissake?!

And, amongst all these unnecessary questions and thoughts dedicated to others, I forget one important person.

Me.

Everyone talks about this thing called Ego. Self-importance and adulation. Oh, I was so proud of it. It comforted me when I was hurt. But, I couldn't comfort it when it got hurt.Well, this is completely off the context but it's a wonder that I forget all about it, worrying about others. I should put it first. Worrying about myself and my problems to an extent is healthier than to worry about the choices others make, and the trouble they invite upon themselves.

It's good to care but as I ponder, I conclude that I excessively indulge in thoughts about everything possible which is not in my control. For heaven's sake, my friends do have some rationality to their credit.

It's THEIR life. As Bon Jovi would say.

Almost half my brain is occupied with thoughts about others. Are they really worth all that space in my head? I don't know. I guess not.

Indecisive for myself but decisive for others.That's what it has come to. Control freakism-ish I suppose.

Would my best friend reserve that much of her brain space for me? I don't think my boyfriend ever did that either.

Minding my own business is something I need to grasp.
 

8 comments:

  1. I also wonder about some of these things, but mine is linked to - CHOICES!
    Why do people make such and such a choice?
    What goes through his/her mind when he/she made that choice...
    And the flip side of the coin - some people just sail along in life and let things come and go, WITHOUT making a conscious decision about it! Frightening!

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  2. You nailed it! I can't help wondering either! :-/

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  3. Take my word for it, it takes a while to start 'minding your own business'.

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  4. Can so totally relate to this!

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