Sunday, 28 April 2013


Okay, I think I'm in a mood for one of my philosophical rants. It's been ages I know, for I have gone through my old posts. When was the last time I had actually sat down before this blank box with the purpose of unleashing a reflective verbal diarrhea?

For some reason I feel my attempt at that might fail today.

They say purpose is the key to achievement, to success and you know, all that. It is, but true that purpose does keep you unfazed through the nasty surprises hurled at you through the course of a  turbulent trip to *insert destination*. Nasty surprises have always followed a repetitive pattern of appearing during some of the fantastic phases of your life. Stephen King puts it quite aptly, SSDD - Same Shit, Different Day.

However, there are days when I dedicate an entire weekend to recording a new piece of music I have composed, but the whole attempt is a waste owing to an unfortunate process of recording, getting dissatisfied, deleting the track, re-recording, getting my hopes up high, discovering faults, getting frustrated, and so on. It's a futile consequence to a purposeful endeavour.

On the other hand, there are days when a sudden inspiration urges me to grab my microphone and guitar and I end up with a satisfactory rendition of my composition.

Purpose leads to expectations, and the latter are fickle minded when it comes to making one happy. What about a well-organized party turning out to be average with a low guest count? What about a trip planned way in advance with the ideal itinerary, that gets screwed up? You go well prepared for an examination and that turns out to be your worst one till date. You intend to deliver a well-rehearsed speech at a gathering, but one look at the audience is enough to drench you in cold sweat and incoherence. In fact, preparing posts prior to the A-Z blog challenge did no good either; I gave up, quarter way through.

Does this mean that being prepared, purposeful and expectant is wrong? Course not. It's just that one  diverts so much energy towards the positive outcomes of his intention, that the other alternative gets sidelined; the alternative of a failure. How can it go wrong when I'm ready and all prepped? No way, it's going to be kick-ass. And, that's where one falls short.

What about all those times when I picked up the first dress I saw on a mannequin, just an hour before a big party, that earned me several compliments? When my family planned a surprise trip to Thailand? When I delivered a heartfelt speech for my music teacher after a successful show? And when my friends and I threw an impulsive yet memorable party, a few hours after the very idea culminated in our minds?

None of us bothered about outcomes. Spontaneity aided us, and god alone knows what made our efforts tick. Technically speaking, we hadn't even given our efforts a thought. Come to face it, that party wasn't supposed to set tongues wagging for days to come or encourage Facebook statuses. But, it did.

Sometimes, it just depends on your luck, on the time, the situation, and the people around you; the appropriateness of everything at that moment which ultimately benefits you. Yet, sometimes it's just on how much we relax our ideals. The I'm-gonna-plan-my-summer-so-damn-well dogma could zap your energy, and before you even realise it, you are left with a forgettable vacation, not to mention scorching.

Moral of the story - I have come up with a abstruse post that may or may not be relished by you readers, but nevertheless leaves me feeling contented.

Thursday, 25 April 2013

I am sorry

I'm sorry I had to end Heroes-R-Us so abruptly.

Firstly, I had a writer's block.

Okay, that's no excuse.

Secondly, I just felt my posts were forced and not even remotely humorous.

I never give up challenges. I hate leaving things undone, but this time I would have to swallow my words.

I am sorry. A big thanks to all my readers and fellow blog mates for having encouraged me so far.

And all those sporting superheroes who  helped me come up with something that would qualify as decent.


Stay tuned for some interesting posts in May. :)

Happy Summer!

Thursday, 11 April 2013

Harvey The Hyperventilator


Featuring Harvey Hyperman aka Hyperventilator. From top to bottom - Harvey after watching 'The Scary Movie', Harvey after finding ten bucks on the road and Harvey after spilling a pint of beer.

Harvey remains unavailable for further comments. We wish him luck for his future endeavors.

Monday, 8 April 2013

Gertude The Gossiper

How does it feel to be a part of Heroes-R-Us, Gertude?
It's great. I was told I wasn't going to be a part of it though, is it true? I'm sure Deb spread that rumour. She hates my guts.

Uhh..Deb and you?

You will never believe it but Deb was actually my best friend. I would get my free supply of candies every month until I found they tasted different after a while. I complained about it to Deb of course, but maybe it didn't go down too well with her as the candies stopped coming in. And she began to ignore me at parties. I bet she didn't want me to share the limelight with her.

Your superpower is the mother of all controversies in the film fraternity. Is that true?
Gossip's in my blood. Actors wouldn't thrive without my support in their so-called fraternity. Controversies may seem to be the bane of their existence, but it keeps them buzzing. People remember them because of ME. Gossip comes before films, always. 

There has been a lot of talk about the Babble pills,lately. Enlighten us.
Babble pills have been funded by me. It suits introverts and people who are unable to make small talk. One pill can make you prattle  about almost anything for at least two hours. And trust me it won't be just gibberish. You end up engaging the listener as well.

Earl the Erratic has been AWOL for the past one month. You may have an idea considering you know him well, yeah?

There has been talk about Earl getting into drugs. He seems to have been hallucinating a lot of things including a mysterious White Woman and snow. Earl has been talking to himself rather than me. I'm pretty sure I saw him talking to the air, yesterday.

People say your words should be taken with a pinch of salt. How true is that?
True, you could also take it with some lemon and tequila.

Your weekly editorial, The Grapevine is a rage among young adults. How do you feel?

Why thank you it feels great. The Grapevine talks about topics that are close to the young heart including beauty and health tips, relationship advice, celebrity news etc. It also features a column where individuals can speak their minds. It promotes arguments and debates as well. The latter have increased its rating.

Thanks for being a part of Heroes-R-Us. A few words to conclude..?

I'd say the one with a sense of rumour is hard to find.




Sunday, 7 April 2013

EF- fy the Effervescent

"I'm a part of Heroes-R-Us! It's truly an honour! How does my suit look? Dashing, eh? I have prepared myself for answering absolutely every question you put before me! How about..."

Today calls for a special post. I have decided to dedicate the letters E and F to Effy, considering Earl the Erratic never turned up, and actually considering Effy has been effervescently enthusiastic about his interview. I know this is called cheating, but Effy says, "You aren't cheating, and even if you are, well, it's for a good cause!"

And that did feel good

Bubbly, frolicky and high spirited Effy is known for his handy superpower that can influence one's mood lest he feel low. "I lost all hope after failing my medical exams for the second time and I was about to kick the bucket when I met Effy at the local pub," says his friend Rob. "He bought me a pint of frothy beer and asked me to gulp it down quickly and feel the rush of the drink down my throat. Things changed after the beer. I felt zealous and happier. I topped my exams the following year.Currently, I work in my own clinic."

"I'm an event manager! I love planning and organizing events. It gives me a heady feeling. I love jazzy parties with fizz, alcohol and happy folks!" True that. Effy has made a dull corporate gathering do the harlem shake, that has been captured on tape and uploaded on Youtube. "145522792 likes!" he says, triumphantly.

Unfortunately, there is a down side to his amazing superpower as well. Effy's boisterous nature has been termed as obnoxious, especially when he couldn't wipe the smile off his face during a funeral service. "The man had been as old as a banyan tree! I'm sure God had arranged a welcome party for him, up above. I just felt his farewell party could have been happier. I didn't try and change the atmosphere though!" he says cheerily.

Nothing can bog him down. A lover of bubble baths, foamy soaps and carbonated drinks,even a rainy day with mucky roads and insensitive cars that splatter mud all over, is incapable of dampening his ebullience.

"Muck and rain are best friends. Just as Coke and I."

Friday, 5 April 2013

Deb the Diabetic

"I apologise for the delay! I'm usually punctual but I had my doctor's appointment yesterday and hence couldn't make it on time. I'm extremely sorry! Oh and by the way, you look beautiful! I love your heels. Thanks a ton for inviting me! Here's some sugar candy for free!"

Why, thank you Deb. You needn't apologize. I'm sure coping with diabetes must be hard enough.

"Of course not, that's silly. Though I can't binge on sugar, I have set up my own candy shop in the neighborhood. Sweets and sugar can bring smiles and that's so very nice! My, my that makes me so gladsome."
 Brava! Talk about selflessness and pure generosity. Kindness and compassion. Intelligence and gumption. Care and hospitality. Forbearance and courtesy. And the superwoman who has molded these enriching qualities into one - Deb!

Rumour has it that Deb's mother whilst she was pregnant had unknowingly consumed pills for a month, that had been mysteriously substituted for her high blood pressure medication. The result was of course a stupendous increase in her blood sugar level, that mounted to diabetes. Naturally, the effect of the pill manifested in her child, who was also born an epitome of sugary benevolence.

Deb has won several awards and accolades for her sensationally sweet personality, the biggest one being The Goodness Gracious Award, for having donated half her savings to The Goodness Gracious Child Association. "Her lips lyk sugah, her lips lyk sugah!" sings her husband Inzaleen, who had been saved from the Talibans by a military relief group where Deb worked as a nurse."She fed me lemon honey tea and orange peppermints to distract me from the pain! I fell in love with her, head over heelsss!"

Deb works as a part time child counselor. The kids love her, though some parents complain that their children come home spoiled and insolent after a counseling session. "That lady is a saccharine fraud. She sweet talks them into believing that they must listen to their hearts and speak their minds!"

Deb has the power to please everyone. Her superpower enables to tell them only those things they would love to hear, and though this may sound inappropriate Deb justifies it by saying "Everybody ain't a diabetic. Eat more sugar while you can!"


Thursday, 4 April 2013

Chad The CheeseMan

Chad : What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Anju : Um. Really? I don't know.

Chad : Nacho Cheese!" *guffaws*

Anju : Ah! Of course.

Chad : There's another! What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades?
Anju : *puzzled*

:  I've felt grater.

Obviously known for his immense love for cheese and everything that drips with and reeks of cheese, Chad The Cheeseman is quite a personality to reckon with. It is but hard to ignore his brand of humour that is, infact his superpower.

"I love Gouda movies! But the ones that are extra cheesy are Feta!" says a very gleeful Chad. "My ex-girlfriend secretly loves me in spite of  her intense disdain for my cheesy pick-up lines. I miss her like a diabetic kid who misses his Halloween sweets. Actually more like Jerry the mouse who is deprived of his rightful cheese!"

Chad has no clue as to how he became superhero. However, it's only when he got admitted in the hospital for experiencing nasty cheese withdrawal symptoms, that he realised he was a superhero(one that could be hospitalized too, yes).

Blessed with the power to lighten up a gloomy atmosphere and aggravate a light atmosphere with his jokes, Chad admits that his strength lies in cheese that gives him the stamina to dish out relentless and persistent puns at any hour of the day, even whilst in deep slumber.

However great these facts may sound, Chad sadly claims that no one takes him seriously. "I'm the funny neighborhood Cheeseman who distributes delicious cheddar regularly. Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone, " he says heavily. "No one's to blame, no one."

How about some more cheese, Chad?

"Before I go, you must know that cheese might make me sane! But you, my girl drive me crackers!"

P.S : "In a good way!"

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Boms The Bombastic

"Dad gifted me a Rolls-Royce convertible when I was ten. Just ten, can you IMAGINE?! Of course, I had Stevens driving me to school everyday until I was old enough to drive. I have always wanted to be independent and I have succeeded, undoubtedly. I own a magnificent mansion overlooking the beach, a lavish garden with a lot of Magnolias (those are my favourites!) and orchids of course, and a private swimming pool too, a big one that has a warm water facility for winter and also a beach bar and..."

Owner of Bombastically Yours Pvt.Ltd, a fashion enterprise that is known for its glamorous produce, Bomsanya Bombastica has indeed been blessed with an extravagant superpower. She was born with a silver spoon, to her superhero parents who unfortunately hadn't been able to make a lasting mark on their respective generation. The Bombasticas had suffered a rags-to-riches history and were determined to not let it affect their precious offspring's future. And indeed their attempts to raise Boms under an extravagant limelight haven't failed. Congratulations Boms, on your fantastic genes!

Boms The Bombastic as she's popularly known, has the innate ability to access the grandest of  materialistic pleasures, and likewise make the simplest of things look grand. Wealth has always stuck by her side and so has Success. Fashion isn't her only fort, she is also a part-time wedding planner (weddings being limited to the creme de la creme), a writer, a chef, and an accomplished belly dancer.  The paparazzi are her best friends.

However her bombastic overtures have never gone down too well with a lot of people."They call me a pompous braggart, which is like calling an ice-cream cold," she says scornfully. "This doesn't mean I'm vain. I just love extravagance, and I love to flaunt it," she adds quickly.

So why is being bombastic considered so negative?

"I'm not pretentious. This is how I am. My country wedding would be flashy. My bathtub's the size of a mini pool. I like to have champagne every Sunday, and I do eat caviar on a regular basis. I cannot be understated even if I want to, and hell no, I don't want to."

So much for all the envious souls. 

She would also like to build a massive orphanage equipped with state-of-the-art facilities including  designer clothing for the kids.

Boms adds her snazziest of lines before signing off

"Subtle does not feature in my vocabulary."

Monday, 1 April 2013

Amby The Ambivalent

"I'm not sure if I should be considered as a Superhero." says Amby. "Or maybe I could be, considering I have always managed to get a taste of everything possible without staunchly choosing any ONE particular thing. Am I indecisive? I'm not sure." *giggles nervously*

And the day has indeed arrived. Hello readers! Welcome to the official release of Heroes-R-US. Today's article being the first, will feature Amby the Ambivalent.

Has he been blessed or cursed with Ambivalence as his name suggests? Amby has been unable to come to a conclusion regarding his superpower, or as a matter of fact any situation that puts forth Options. Also he wonders whether it was a good idea to be a part of Heroes-R-Us.

Well, Amby I can assure you that we had no second opinions regarding your invitation.
Born to a half-brown family in San Jose, Amby had always been as normal as any boy born to a half brown family has been. His parents, Ravinder Singh and Anna Jones had always had the upper hand when it came to  deciding the course of their normal son's life, from the food he ate and clothes he wore to the T.V programs he could watch. Amby had never had a say in these matters, and had never expressed a desire to do so.

It was only after his parents' untimely death in a car crash before his graduation, that Amby realised he wasn't normal. His superpower came to light when the question about his career popped up. Amby loved the Arts as well as Science. Unfortunately, his parents hadn't chalked out a career plan for him which left him in a dilemma. Unable to decide, Amby started off with Science, switched to Arts, back to Science, and then to Arts again, without mastering none. That's when he knew he was Ambivalent.

Amby lives in his specially designed his half-apartment-cum-half-villa at the Crossroads. Luckily for Amby, he has found quite a few friends who are ambivalent to an extent, in spite of being non-superheroes. "They won't live at the Crossroads for long, though. They will settle elsewhere once they decide." says Amby sadly.

Amby has tried his hand at boxing, bungee-jumping, engineering, architecture, Warli painting, scuba-diving, singing, and has played a variety of instruments from the sitar to the xylophone. Ambi possesses the rare ability to feel happy and sad and brave and scared, simultaneously.

Is there anything you would like to add, Amby?

(Some hopes that he might say a lot more)

 Amby thinks hard and says, "Uh..well..I'm not sure.."